Conversation that Inspires
An example ....
Karen and Roberto are finding a way to work together ...
Karen: As we open up to all of this forward movement and a larger vision of our working together, I am feeling an easy and warm connection with you. I love working with you. I kind of love you.
Roberto: I love working with you too but I kind of cringe on the inside when I try to take in your words, that you might appreciate me, even love me. I feel like there is a layer of saran wrap around me, keeping me from really taking in your words.
Karen: Would it be okay to pause with that saran wrap image and see if more comes?
Roberto: I think I have thick armour around me with almost everyone in my life, but with you, the layer is just saran wrap. I feel super safe with you. Then it comes, am I really worthy of Karen? Does she really mean it? Some confusion now.
Karen: Take your time with what’s coming. Im here with you, so happy to keep you company as you explore this.
Roberto: Then I see my mother, she loved me, always with conditions and very possessively. If I let mom in and love me in that way, well, it felt dangerous. I look at you there and feel touched by your words, like they are landing in me more. Karen loves me. Oh that feels very warm on the inside.
Karen: Can I share how Im touched by your story of needing a layer of protection from being overwhelmed by mother’s love?
Roberto: Sure Im ready to hear from you.
Karen: As a child I was connected and held to a big and boisterous extended family. Then at 12 we moved to the city and I was lost with my peers and urban environment. I spent my young adult life feeling alone and not knowing how to connect to others. Not expecting the other could see me or not knowing how to meet the other person. That feeling of lost and alone on the inside, well, that is NOT what I feel with you. With you I have this experience of living inside my own skin and feeling welcomed by you in our sharing of ideas, the co-creative process bursts open, and in our person to person shared moments. I am not alone with you and that expands and warms up on the inside.
Roberto: My saran wrap is melting away on the inside. If I stay inside the present moment with you I can feel that warmth and expansion too. But if I get pulled back to the past through body memories, I lose myself and also our connection together. I really need to practice relational grounded presence to stay connected to myself, this seems to be my bridge to you and all of my relationships. I feel really lucky to work with you.
Karen: As long as we stay connected in this particular wholebody heartfelt way, it’s like the gift that keeps giving. Im grateful to have you in my life.